seems like tomorrow;

gotten a lot of advice from a lot of different people-thank you!

cant do much about life since its temporarily disrupted with serving the nation but a platitude of thoughts are in my head that my hands cant even try to carry all....so.

even among the year -and nine months remaining views can change so rapidly it might just come into conflict with the old, comfortable notions that i clung on to with such conviction.


especially if they are things you dreamt of, once...

posting's this friday. im not worried into whatever unit or camp they will post me to. cant do or argue against it anyway. more concerned about the time and people i will be spending with till march 13 2010.by then i would have , in the eyes of the country, an official adult. -_-


i want to study. i want to study to pursue my dream.not for that stupid piece of paper.not for the rat race. not for the riches.but for my dream. one or two, i would never make.not impossible.but too far away.too distant because of my inability. by nature, and by choice.


which still wont stop me fomr doing stupid but fun things. or things i want to do but in no direct relation to what i have just so clumsily rumbled.


incognito.


but i still love you in every way.

egnahc!

i like wang lee hom's [ is that how its spelt?] songs. hes a superb singer to boot, so go check out his songs!

passed by grandma's home today. staring at the ceiling that suddenly seemed to have shrunk in height- and noticing how much i've grown since my early childhood days. those early days, where i spent so many of it in that house...the dog which i grew to love, the grandma who regaled us with wonder of so many stories of a world disappeared, relived through the words of those who once lived in near perpetual darkness of countless nights such as she did.

i see a man's photo whom i will never meet-my grandfather. i have ears like his; sharply pointed. his cheeks too. a loving father and husband, according to my mum , and my grandma.

memories passed on with the gentle flourish of love.

talked to benny. was great talking to him because of his advice. i dont agree with him completely, but i do see his convincing logic of his points. so thanks dude. i promise to come good. thank you for being blunt and caring. (=

i want to swing on that swing again. you, yes you, will know which swing. (=

turn left, down straight.

here you go ch your emo lyrics.


rediscovered the love of reading!



im not used to civilian life even if its a temporary rest that i wont get to enjoy till late march 2010.

kinda miss the regimental functionality. which i wont once it resumes (=

pain is my only real friend

she doesnt hide nor deceive

she gives without asking

knows all my flaws

but never loves me any less

always there for me

i welcome her most

awake solitary

those many sleepless nights

she is there;

singing her lullaby.

she travels everywhere i go

so why do i still feel so alone?


none came. none, came.

silver platter fools

unwilling to put up so much.

after reading wz's post it got me pretty much affected.

not the fatalism panache.

the change between a child to an adult is much more gripping than originally realised. governed from ignorance to perhaps a much more naive idealistic contemplation.

now the way you see things no longer through a young teen's narrow and mutli-tinted coloured eyes.

you see the world and everything around you in shades of bleak desolate grey.

you re-examine your relationships. how you process them. how you respond to them. how you react. how you conceive your actions from your thoughts. how your subconcious desires or needs are portrayed fervently and yet so subtly. how they pervade your every single action.

needless to say its been quite the stupor and affecting experience.

i need to let it out specifically. but to who?


whos willing to listen to some illogical, supremely cynically-yet inner idealistically inclined hence paradoxically rewardingly insane ponderings?

help. help. help. somebody.anybody.please help me.

yawning lions

chinatown in the morning with dimsum,youtiao and a pipping hot soyabean drink appear like the exotic portrait a tourist will imagine himself to be on a froday morning, where shops just emerge from their nightly slumber, where there is an air of quiet,stirring anticipation. renovate all you want, chinatown's still chinatown.



went back home and...snogged o.O nearly all the way till 5. movies to watch, places to visit, pushed back errands to finally get a turn, room chores to handle.& a spoilt mp3 player to fix. hang on the latter's under errands. whatever.


so why the hell am i feeling like a aheavy fatass cloud?


i lost....12kg in bmt. thats an average of 1 every week. i got so much waist space [eh zee.cant see your twinkle toes when you bend over eh? =p ] its become an annoyance and belts are an absolute necessity.that and getting new bottoms.which means spedning more $$$ =/

but COOL huh! i've lost weight wooo. even mum's kinda happy.(=

*celebrates


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celebration over.

its still not a good day though. im so LEI all i want to do is duh sleeep and not wake up till next week.


put me through your paces

griddle down the line

im waiting for the keys

to be made by your loving hands

but the doors decide to shut

so i wont wait any longer

gatecrash into your heart

but more like a stumbling fall




dont use one event to determine an outcome.

its the wrong title! D= it shouldnt;

BE "THE HAPPENING". its so not. it should be "the revenge- of-the psychotic-deranged-sick-to the-shit .......ahh. one word gives away everything..-_- go watch..... bizzare.thrilling at one moment, whimsical the next. plot line was so...erm...plot pace was....no eyecandy )=

bimbo rant over.

update this laterrrr.

42 violet hill

over.


done nothing but sleep so far.


overnight party later so time to get wasted in gaming and euro (=

coldplay's viva la vida album is pretty good.

check it out.

wind up

quite possibly the last post of tekong. its come to an end, with tuesday marking the the official graduation.there isnt much to talk about, other than coming to a full closure.i suppose i will miss that place and some people,and just maybe, look at the memories left behind down the road. POP LO!

friday was pretty much fun, with games day and recruit's evening aka concert time. im gona leave the details out, because im too lazy to go into details(too many) and im too lazy. i'll tell a few who read this blog anyway (=

a few health concerns,so its up to the specialists to check them out, i wont bother. but i'll be doubly cautious when playing football.

bought the coy shirt for .... hey xuan-nie. its your favourite hot pink colour. you'll love it [=

you ass. stop calling me herny. (=


my grandma's birthday. i love YOU! (= no im not going to indulge in a self testimony for her. all i want to do is give her a hug. thats enough. woo.

seems like relationships for some close pals arent doing too good. in the case of sig, not good at all...


show me a sign, and let me know what we did is still worth all the pain

seeing your broken smile breaks my solitary heart.

you're alone, in between the dim and the dark

i am, bethrothed to your memories you left behind.

i loved you once, let that be enough.

le vestige

8 more days. a beach-wear party, the cleaning up, the goodbyes that will come.all paths will divulge clear but its not an repressive thing.

thats all there is to it . memorable. sometimes enjoyable.mostly inevitable.

navy called. [ pronounced as na-wi, as she told us cheerfully back then]


5 years, in a span of a flash.shes working her way now into uni, with around 1 year left, before possibly heading into the states. Her english has thoroughly improved, with the canadian accent slurring out.thankfully her chinese is still proficient, so all good (= missus carrer woman. heh.the 12 hour difference meant she called in the early a.m hours but she didnt mind. unfortunately shes not returning to singapore this year, so car, if you want to meet her you gotta wait well into the near future. (=


thats about it really. its been thankfully a quiet , non-eventful week, except with my body recuperating(hopefully) from all the "rest" i get to have these days in camp.some solid planning required for the future since bmt is finally wrapping up.good stuff. cheers.




tpjc winds and guitar concert. met up with ning! (= zing a zing aka stick insect and my grannydaughter and whatever nonsense you can think of other nicks. really missed vch. saw zee, [oei auntie, pass me the chewie sweets!] pouting, met up with wen rong! rubin farhan were all there of course [= good to see em!


met up with a few juniors, the passing stuff. saw matt with his shaggy long mane (= seems like ages agin...when its barely a year gone by when he left.


good to see the band again. a few alumni.. darn proud of my section. esp marcus. playing the bari like a manic, a solid solid sax solo performance on the alto. blardy darn embrassing when he dragged me upstage to see my new juniors and asking them to rmb this sax "god's" [NO! -__-] face and to give me vip treatment whenever i go back. ahhh marcus u bloody uncle!


saw clarice (= still so slim as ever. dancing with bk to the song of buble's sway (= haha. awkward couple! then of course theres melissa, nelson! clarence! caile![settled down with a gf eh] eunice! su qi! so many more! (=

left alone. walking back, it was emotionally good. havent felt like this in ages. how much they have grown.how much i miss them all. ahhh. crapping with the 2 idiots. (= sometimes. i really want to look back again. how distances can pull us apart. but last night, for that short moment at least, i was so gladly proven wrong twice.

another night of so much thinking. of course, its much better now, since now when we talk about life itself we control the emotions that sunder and usually threaten to overwhelm. or at least we attempt to.

so whats left, besides the remaining 8 days.will life itself present another number of hurdles that will increase the distances of all relationships? pulling many further apart.. my only guess is we make do of things, as best as we can. overcome them no matter how long. but its so much easier to say, or type.sometimes just simply surviving an ordeal is already an achievement...getting down about it may be inevitable. but looking around, i have several role models i take inspiration from. im lucky. sometimes...maybe too lucky for my own good. emotionally..we just have got to take care of ourselves more. not be self absorbed, but simply learning to shield ourselves from the onslaught of events that just want to shatter us, presenting us an opportunityto breakdown and weep, or fall into the pits of the depressed.we always remain conscious of what others look at us and thus present an alternate face, but in army, i managed to learn a simple rule: be comfortable in your own skin. not what you are, but what you could be.heh. this isnt preaching, just a splatter of disorganised thoughts that swirled around last night. not bothered if it sounds like one anyway.

so to my dear close friends, especially a few who have been going through a thoroughly rough and difficult time:hang in there! you, who already are holding on for a period of time now, have proven your strength! so stay, with us as we will do our best to always be there and support you. for even the dark storms must pass, and the sun to shine all the clearer. take heart!

i made a promise.let that little ember not die. let it grow.let it find shelter.

i made a second promise. let that child within not die. let it play.let it smirk.

i made a third promise. let me not discard the belief of love. let it remember.let it dream.